So it’s been awhile since I’ve posted here, but time of year being what it is and all , and all that needs to get done and all…………….

So quick recap from where I left off,

The ducks are not only IQ impoverished, but illiterate too…………the "lay the eggs here" dummy egg……………well we finally fed that one to the dogs, we were still fishing one a day out of the pond, and it took about 2 weeks to find the new nest for the others. So a massive amount of duck eggs of questionable quality later, we marked six of them as decoys ( dummies ) put them back in nest #2, and boiled up the rest for the other critters. 3 days later………….no new eggs in the nest, and yes we are still fishing one out of the pond every day. Give us a couple of days

and we find new nest # 3………………still more questionable eggs to deal with, but we have an active clientele for them so no worries, and the last dip shit duck that lays eggs in the pond has decided to follow suit and lay eggs on dry land with the other girls, but somehow they have managed to confuse a chicken.

All’s good for another week and then we have a complete overnight raid on all the eggs in the nest………….they are all dummies, completely marked up with permanent, probably toxic, marker, we used red this time as black seems to disappear in the massive amount of dirt a duck can put on her own egg. Anyways, ya damn coon, hope you get Salmonella, a seizure or something, because you have no idea how long it took to get these dumb ass ducks to all lay in one place…………and I know it was a coon, because now the shells are all in the pond. My poor pond, the one that was to be such a tranquil little oasis of running water, native plants and rockscaping……….ya whatever. I doesn’t much resemble that at all right now.

But, on the bright side, so far, so good, the ducks are still using the new, and did I mention, easy to reach, nest.

　

　

　

Easter Eggstravaganza....Wingnut style

It’s April already and Easter has just come and gone…….

With all the kids moved out, my Mom doing dinner and any remaining daffodils or crocuses that may have survived me and /or the landscaping project of 2011 being eaten by either squirrels or ducks………..there really wasn’t anything much Easter around here,

……….unless you count the new chicken that lays us green eggs.

It was basically going to be a work weekend anyway, cutting trees to let more sun onto the solar system and building my new and improved terraced garden, an unexpected and welcome by-product of the tree project.

Thinking that I was going to be working on the gardens, I did buy a new garden tool to replace the old and worn out one……………just a regular garden hoe, nothing fancy except for the lime green handle ( kinda Easterish I suppose ) but with the new project well underway it became obvious that I was not going to get around to using the new tool this weekend………………or so I thought.

Nice Hoe...eh



Raid, Vapona and Citronella
aka Huey, Dewey and Louey
aka Dumb, Dumber and Stupid

Seems our 3 remaining ducks, all girls, have their own idea about Easter. They came of age about a month ago and started laying eggs, and except for the first ones, which I figure might have caught them by surprise, they have laid 3 eggs a day in a nest which we found after it had about a dozen eggs in it. The nest they chose is under the chicken coop, behind a bail of hay, in a spot that is inaccessible unless you get down on your hands and knees and crawl into the spot with the least amount of clearance. But that’s fine, every day we collect 6 chicken and 3 duck eggs from the coop area and one chicken egg from the greenhouse
……….Helens new home.


Until Easter weekend arrives, and who knew that ducks were so into the egg hunt thing??

Just look where they have laid their eggs for the last 3 days…………..

This is where the first "surprise" eggs were laid, and they were still there, but now I have my new Easter colored garden tool turned egg scooper, and I’ve gotten some use out of it this weekend after all.

All the eggs retrieved, and the original ones too…………….2 fed to the dogs and chickens and one used as a "Dummy Egg" to put back in the nest to help them "maybe" get the idea that Easter is over and I really don’t need to make the trip to the coop every day with a basket ………and a hoe.

I hope they get the message.

Not Again

Another overly warm day for March, in this, the year of no real winter at all, and it seems the birds, after a relatively bug free winter diet, are totally focused in their search for more and more of the constantly emerging tasty little morsels. So unknown to us, they wander off down to the field, heads down and happily pecking away, no doubt following the pond run off that not only leads straight through the field, but is chock a block full of bird goodies as well.

the goody loaded trench that leads birds from the safety of trees to the dreaded field

.........and then it happened.....another hawk attack, witnessed this time, so NO, we are NOT crazy, that is what’s picking off our birds.

I'm inside when my phone rings, Bob the Builder on the other end, calling from the field and telling ( yelling ) for me to get down there quick because he needs help.......this is from a guy who notoriously does NOT ask for help, even when he should, so I'm picturing the worst.  

In a matter of seconds this blissful bug picking adventure has turned into a chaos zone. One of the as yet un-named chickens is injured, missing a load of feathers and hiding under a tree, either Joan or Elvira was last seen running for all her worth to the cover of the spruces with a hawk on her tail, Ruckus the Rooster and the other two girls are nowhere to be found. Bob's gotten a shot off and the hawk was diverted and flown off, but the chicken may or may not know that.

And the 3 remaining ducks have FINALLY found the river......we have been hoping that they would find the river someday and make that their new home, saving us the whole Duckponics issue, so I quickly abandoned the idea of getting them back, seems we finally had them just where we wanted them and they were joyfully discovering all kinds of goodies in the tall grass on the banks. So I was happy thinking there's some good in everything.

Injured chicken then proceeds to give me a really good run for for my money, through what little ( wet, heavy, slushy ) snow that remains amidst all the mud, trying to keep her from frantically running straight into the river, because I'm pretty sure that even though that river may be a ducks dream, it's got to be chicken hell, and I had NO intention of jumping in to get her even if I could catch her in that current. If it came to that, I would probably have better luck running all the way back up the hill from hell, getting in the car and scooping her out at the first bridge down the road with the fish net that I was really wishing I had brought down here right now. So I just kept running.........and so did she, in no particular direction, but all of them taking her closer to the river. In the end, she was captured, without the help of the fish net. So there I was, soaked and muddy from the knees down, sweating from the waist up, trying to get control of a flapping, hysterical chicken that was making enough noise to call in every predator in the township at that point. I finally calmed her down and I think the two of us just sat there wondering which one of us was going to have the heart attack first. 

So we now have one chicken headed for the coop to hopefully recover, Elvira is MIA, Ruckus and the 2 other girls were found hiding in the garage and 3 ducks finally in the river.

3 hours later...........injured hen is getting severely picked on by the others, so they are all locked out for the night, injured has the coop, the rest of them have the run, good thing it’s warm out, but who knows where tomorrows eggs are going to be. MIA chicken managed to sneak back home without anyone noticing, and she seems just fine. All is calm again, just hoping that injured chicken makes it through the night.

AND THEN THE DUCKS CAME HOME.........................I really think that sometimes they just pretend to be stupid.

As for the ducks..........

Nut Date…… Oct 18,2011

As for the ducks.....................well Holy Sh*t !!

.........pardon the language, but that’s all we are getting from them.

I guess that was part of the original plan, $3.00 duck, bug control and free manure, so far they are holding up their end of the manure part NO PROBLEM... as for the bug control, well they have just now found the field that holds the bugs that are eating hundreds of dollars worth of fruit trees, good timing, the bugs are sleeping for the winter, it’s Canada........... and all summer, rather than eating the slugs that attack my $13.00 Hostas, they ate the Hostas……..bug problem there solved, in their minds anyways.

So they stopped sleeping in the $1000.00 Quacker Box we built for them months ago, preferring the pond, spending the night floating about with their head tucked under one wing, looking really cute, but apparently filling it up with manure ALL NIGHT LONG. I’ve heard they have no sphincter at the south end, and I now don’t doubt that at all.

The reality is, that despite our best efforts at creating a nice calming eco – friendly, self sustaining pond, we now have to run hydro to pump it out. $$$$

So let’s just tally this up,

nine $3.00 ducks… $27.00,
bag of feed, $16.00 / month
Quacker Box with heat and lighting ( hydro ) $1000.00 +++
Pond pump, $30.00 ( I think, probably way more )
Pipes to access fresh spring water……….$ ??? another $30, let’s just say
Rental on mini excavator to dig hole for fresh spring water ( that was stuck in the mud for most of the rental, but did in the end dig the hole ) ..$50.00
Pond liner, sand, gravel, rocks, plants……salvaged, reclaimed or recycled from other jobs.

The whole system of sand filters, spring water and plant filtration, all for a duck pond, working wonderfully, till you make the fatal mistake of adding ducks………… freakin’ PRICELESS !!!


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Don't they all just look sooooo happy !!!
merrily pooping away

I’ve since learnt that this issue is called "Duckponics"

Whodathunkit??

Duckponics is actually a word. ??!! Well, probably not according to Webster’s ( yet ), but to anyone who owns a duck…………..it’s not just a word, it’s a reality that needs to be dealt with,
and to my relief, I’m not alone.

There is some comfort in numbers I guess.