SNAFU@WingnutAcres

Veggies in the bathtub...........
Chickens in the dresser.......

and the new Chicken Spa, formerly known as my flower bed, up and running.

yup............Situation Normal @ WingnutAcres

So it’s been awhile since I’ve posted here, but time of year being what it is and all , and all that needs to get done and all…………….

So quick recap from where I left off,

The ducks are not only IQ impoverished, but illiterate too…………the "lay the eggs here" dummy egg……………well we finally fed that one to the dogs, we were still fishing one a day out of the pond, and it took about 2 weeks to find the new nest for the others. So a massive amount of duck eggs of questionable quality later, we marked six of them as decoys ( dummies ) put them back in nest #2, and boiled up the rest for the other critters. 3 days later………….no new eggs in the nest, and yes we are still fishing one out of the pond every day. Give us a couple of days

and we find new nest # 3………………still more questionable eggs to deal with, but we have an active clientele for them so no worries, and the last dip shit duck that lays eggs in the pond has decided to follow suit and lay eggs on dry land with the other girls, but somehow they have managed to confuse a chicken.

All’s good for another week and then we have a complete overnight raid on all the eggs in the nest………….they are all dummies, completely marked up with permanent, probably toxic, marker, we used red this time as black seems to disappear in the massive amount of dirt a duck can put on her own egg. Anyways, ya damn coon, hope you get Salmonella, a seizure or something, because you have no idea how long it took to get these dumb ass ducks to all lay in one place…………and I know it was a coon, because now the shells are all in the pond. My poor pond, the one that was to be such a tranquil little oasis of running water, native plants and rockscaping……….ya whatever. I doesn’t much resemble that at all right now.

But, on the bright side, so far, so good, the ducks are still using the new, and did I mention, easy to reach, nest.

　

　

　

Easter Eggstravaganza....Wingnut style

It’s April already and Easter has just come and gone…….

With all the kids moved out, my Mom doing dinner and any remaining daffodils or crocuses that may have survived me and /or the landscaping project of 2011 being eaten by either squirrels or ducks………..there really wasn’t anything much Easter around here,

……….unless you count the new chicken that lays us green eggs.

It was basically going to be a work weekend anyway, cutting trees to let more sun onto the solar system and building my new and improved terraced garden, an unexpected and welcome by-product of the tree project.

Thinking that I was going to be working on the gardens, I did buy a new garden tool to replace the old and worn out one……………just a regular garden hoe, nothing fancy except for the lime green handle ( kinda Easterish I suppose ) but with the new project well underway it became obvious that I was not going to get around to using the new tool this weekend………………or so I thought.

Nice Hoe...eh



Raid, Vapona and Citronella
aka Huey, Dewey and Louey
aka Dumb, Dumber and Stupid

Seems our 3 remaining ducks, all girls, have their own idea about Easter. They came of age about a month ago and started laying eggs, and except for the first ones, which I figure might have caught them by surprise, they have laid 3 eggs a day in a nest which we found after it had about a dozen eggs in it. The nest they chose is under the chicken coop, behind a bail of hay, in a spot that is inaccessible unless you get down on your hands and knees and crawl into the spot with the least amount of clearance. But that’s fine, every day we collect 6 chicken and 3 duck eggs from the coop area and one chicken egg from the greenhouse
……….Helens new home.


Until Easter weekend arrives, and who knew that ducks were so into the egg hunt thing??

Just look where they have laid their eggs for the last 3 days…………..

This is where the first "surprise" eggs were laid, and they were still there, but now I have my new Easter colored garden tool turned egg scooper, and I’ve gotten some use out of it this weekend after all.

All the eggs retrieved, and the original ones too…………….2 fed to the dogs and chickens and one used as a "Dummy Egg" to put back in the nest to help them "maybe" get the idea that Easter is over and I really don’t need to make the trip to the coop every day with a basket ………and a hoe.

I hope they get the message.

Well it's not called Wingnut Acres for nuthin'

OMG, I can hardly keep up with the amount of stupid around here today.

A few days ago I posted about Little Helen, our blind chicken, who survived the latest hawk attack, but her eyesight didn't, how she's doing well, laying eggs again and how a barrier has been put in place to keep her and/or her eggs from falling out of the coop.

Seems the barrier should have been a bit higher because sometime on Tuesday, Helen managed to fall out, again, and no one noticed till that night when Bob the Builder went to lock everyone up for the night and discovered she was missing. An hour and a half of searching the woods for her with a flashlight............and no Helen.

The next day, I went out and searched again, but all in vain. Not even a feather to be found. Neither of the dogs seemed to understand the term "FIND MY CHICKEN....DAMMIT" so they were of no help whatsoever, but totally enjoyed a prolonged walk through the woods. I was actually hoping that some predator, maybe even the damn hawk, had found her and ended it for her quickly. Thinking that she was just out there, with no way to find food or water, was not sitting well with me at all.

By the end of the day, the Builder and I had to sit down and rework the numbers for the next chicken order, something that we were already working on, and up the amount of fencing that we need to purchase to keep them safe and yet still have them be able to free range.

We came up with the idea to get 5 more already laying birds ASAP, since the farm fresh egg supply was rapidly dwindling, and then order another 10 day old chicks.

..............apparently this is called chicken math. You start out wanting 4, and somehow you end up with around 24, and it's something that is quite common with new chicken owners from what I read. A couple of months ago I had just finished reading someones comment on BackYardChickens.com " you will get more, it's just a matter of time" and no sooner had I read that, when the Builder says " you know, I think we should get more chickens" !!

A quick search of Kijiji and we found someone who was wanting to sell trios, and low and behold, it just happened to be the same guy that gave us Ruckus the Rooster a few weeks ago. We already had a bottle of Maple Syrup set aside for him as a thank-you for that. So there we are, the chicken math has gone up by one again........6 instead of 5, and still order 10 chicks. As it turns out we went out there and he had already had lots of interest in the ad, with people coming on the weekend and could only spare 3 ( chicken math = original # minus 2 )

Three chickens rounded up and in the truck on the way home.

The plan is to put the 3 new girls in the coop, close off the run from the others so that the new ones can figure out where home is. Then tonight, have the new ones in the coop, leave the old ones in the run like they have been doing anyways since we locked them out that first night that Helen was injured.

And that's what we did. Three new chickens in the coop.

On the left we have Salt, an Australorp that went straight to work and laid us a green egg just minutes after getting here. In the middle we have Pepper, a Barred Rock. And the girl on the right is Ruckus' half sister, so I think the name Bobby-Jo fits for her. I just need to figure out how to tell her apart from Elvira......... not like it matters if I do or don't ;)

All is well in chicken land, the Builder is unloading lumber and fencing, I'm looking into placing the order for the chicks, when the Builder runs in and announces
....HELENS HOME!!!

As IF ?!?!?!!? we've had a bind chicken wandering the property for 48 hours and she's safe, has found home ( tell me that rooster is not doing his job calling her back...........better than the dogs, that's for sure !! ) and we just gave away her room!!!

Chicken math = original # minus 2 plus 1

So the new girls are pushed out into the run by the Builder, which means he has to get in the coop, while I hold Helen and close the door, so that they don't take the wrong exit. Meanwhile, I guess out of habit, I latch the coop door, and while I'm waiting, I start wandering about talking to Helen, when all of a sudden I hear "LET ME OUT"

So I now have the 3 old chickens happily doing their thing, one rooster watching over them, three new chickens waiting for us to just make up our minds about where it is we really want them, three ducks just being ducks and eating everything and pooping everywhere, two very jealous dogs whining and watching me cuddle a blind chicken.....and I've just locked the person that is supposed to be my better half in the chicken coop.

.............and THAT'S why it's called Wingnut Acres!!

Not Again

Another overly warm day for March, in this, the year of no real winter at all, and it seems the birds, after a relatively bug free winter diet, are totally focused in their search for more and more of the constantly emerging tasty little morsels. So unknown to us, they wander off down to the field, heads down and happily pecking away, no doubt following the pond run off that not only leads straight through the field, but is chock a block full of bird goodies as well.

the goody loaded trench that leads birds from the safety of trees to the dreaded field

.........and then it happened.....another hawk attack, witnessed this time, so NO, we are NOT crazy, that is what’s picking off our birds.

I'm inside when my phone rings, Bob the Builder on the other end, calling from the field and telling ( yelling ) for me to get down there quick because he needs help.......this is from a guy who notoriously does NOT ask for help, even when he should, so I'm picturing the worst.  

In a matter of seconds this blissful bug picking adventure has turned into a chaos zone. One of the as yet un-named chickens is injured, missing a load of feathers and hiding under a tree, either Joan or Elvira was last seen running for all her worth to the cover of the spruces with a hawk on her tail, Ruckus the Rooster and the other two girls are nowhere to be found. Bob's gotten a shot off and the hawk was diverted and flown off, but the chicken may or may not know that.

And the 3 remaining ducks have FINALLY found the river......we have been hoping that they would find the river someday and make that their new home, saving us the whole Duckponics issue, so I quickly abandoned the idea of getting them back, seems we finally had them just where we wanted them and they were joyfully discovering all kinds of goodies in the tall grass on the banks. So I was happy thinking there's some good in everything.

Injured chicken then proceeds to give me a really good run for for my money, through what little ( wet, heavy, slushy ) snow that remains amidst all the mud, trying to keep her from frantically running straight into the river, because I'm pretty sure that even though that river may be a ducks dream, it's got to be chicken hell, and I had NO intention of jumping in to get her even if I could catch her in that current. If it came to that, I would probably have better luck running all the way back up the hill from hell, getting in the car and scooping her out at the first bridge down the road with the fish net that I was really wishing I had brought down here right now. So I just kept running.........and so did she, in no particular direction, but all of them taking her closer to the river. In the end, she was captured, without the help of the fish net. So there I was, soaked and muddy from the knees down, sweating from the waist up, trying to get control of a flapping, hysterical chicken that was making enough noise to call in every predator in the township at that point. I finally calmed her down and I think the two of us just sat there wondering which one of us was going to have the heart attack first. 

So we now have one chicken headed for the coop to hopefully recover, Elvira is MIA, Ruckus and the 2 other girls were found hiding in the garage and 3 ducks finally in the river.

3 hours later...........injured hen is getting severely picked on by the others, so they are all locked out for the night, injured has the coop, the rest of them have the run, good thing it’s warm out, but who knows where tomorrows eggs are going to be. MIA chicken managed to sneak back home without anyone noticing, and she seems just fine. All is calm again, just hoping that injured chicken makes it through the night.

AND THEN THE DUCKS CAME HOME.........................I really think that sometimes they just pretend to be stupid.

TMI ( too much information )

When we started on this bird adventure, our only source of information to start with was the internet which we surfed endlessly, followed by some emails and visits to others that were already doing this........I mean these are living creatures and for sure we want to do everything right for them. So with what we learnt we built them the Chicken Hilton which, we were told if we were to be doing this egg adventure in the winter, would need to be insulated, so we did.

There was lots of information about the lighting shedule required for them to lay eggs, so lights with timers were installed. This being Canada and the temps having the possibility of falling well into the negatives ( well not this year....2012, the year of the non-winter, regardless ) we installed a heat lamp with a thermostat. Of course providing food and water is always a given, and we have adopted the deep litter method for the coop, with a good coop scooping to happen in the spring.

In our mind we provided them with everything a chicken could want ( except a rooster ), and we did the same for the ducks too, including a pond.

So as winter sets in everything is working fine, the ducks have abandoned the run of the Hilton in favour of living either in the pond or underneath the Hilton. The spring is still running madly so water for them is not an issue. The lights and heating in the coop are working fine, eggs are getting laid, and we haven't found a chicken frozen solid yet, so the heat must be working, and we know for a fact that the hydro bill is working just fine.

Not having a rooster has been a problem as the girls are not following the standard information that we recieved about "free run" chickens that they just simply go home at night. This has resulted in the loss of a few birds, in particular Little Lucy, so they are now being locked up much to my dismay and more so theirs.

.......so our only issue so far is that the water still freezes up rock solid overnight and the chickens are thirsty in the morning. We have an automtic waterer for them in the summer which obviously will not work all year. We tried the chicken waterers and surfed again to find all kinds of elaborate ways to make them stop freezing up, all of which would require more wiring and $$$. In the end we chose to go with a dog waterer instead.....the kind that has the one litre pop bottle attached, pop bottles bought for this reason only BTW. Things were still freezing up overnight so we moved it a bit closer to the heat lamp...........which promptly melted the darn bottle. So now instead of just taking a replacement out to them, we have to run back and forth with the one remaining bottle, not really an issue except that someone decided to put the chicken coop downhill.

And then one day all things changed..........we got a rooster!!!

How does a rooster stop water from freezing you ask, well he doesn't, but the "old hand, I've been doing this for years, lets take the simple approach to all of this" farmer that gave us the rooster, also gave us the biggest, most useful, piece of advice yet by simply saying..............

" I just give them a bucket of snow"

REALLY!!!..........it's so stupidly simple that it makes total sense.
It makes you realize that sometimes you can just overthink things

It's so stupidly simple that it makes a person feel like an idiot for not figuring this out themselves........I'm just glad it wasn't one of my kids that came up with this.........then I'd feel really stupid!!!

Say Hello to Ruckus

so this is our new Rooster, Ruckus.

I mentally named him that even before he arrived, because that is what I was expecting from him, but to be honest.............he's really not living up to that, I've barely heard squat from him. But seeing that it's February and we sleep in the basement probably helps, so I'll let you know if I still feel the same way come July with the windows open all night..........and more importantly, the very early AM.

We got him for free from a laid back and experienced farmer that Bob the Builder was working for who had too many. He easily parted with an extra rooster. So easily that by the time I returned the call about whether or not we wanted to do this.......it was already a mute point.............the rooster was already in the box, in the truck.

I didn't really want a rooster, didn't think we needed one, and didn't want to tick off the neighbours any more than the dogs have already done. But with the girls wanting to stay out and party all night leaving us to run around in the dark trying to round them up, and with predators lurking at dusk despite the 2 dogs on the property, and with them seeming to think that I was the rooster, and after losing Little Lucy, which broke my heart......we had to give in and get them a "man of the house".

But seriously, did chicken girls not get the memo from the 70's where we don't need to blindly follow a guy around!!?? Did we really do all that bra burning only for the human species?? Seems so.

So, a week into it, and after a bit of a rough start, Big Ruckus is doing his job.

A few days of him not wanting to come out of the coop, the same coop the girls have been locked up in for weeks since Lucy disappeared, the same coop that the girls tried not to let him in, and the one that he spent a few days sitting under with the ducks ( while his girls ran wild around the property enjoying their freedom again, at last ) he's finally out and about with them and more importantly............he has everyone home long before the dreaded dusk falls.

................last time I looked, he was still sleeping out in the run while the 4 girls are tucked away in the coop, but my real question is........

why are we now getting 5 eggs a day????

Soft Hearts get pooped on.

So there's nothing like a garage full of bird manure to remind a newbie that they really are livestock, not pets.( Shhh, don't tell the insurance company that I'm admitting to this) 

Yesterday was our first really cold day this winter, minus 24 C with the windchill, the day before it was plus 5 and pouring rain, as it was for quite a few days before that. So this is the first real winter experience that the birds have had, being born in July and all. And this was the first time that the ducks were showing signs of feeling it.......I mean really feeling it, windchill and all. They were all set to run for the food as usual in the morning but could only make it a few steps without having to hunker down and stop. A few more steps. Stop. A few more, another stop.

So with the weather being as goofy as can be this year, I mean really, one day it's like April and then the next day it's like Arctic..........I'm not sure if the birds have had a real chance to acclimate to all of this.

And that 's where Soft Heart kicked in, and not just mine BTW, Bob the Builders too, and for the first time we didn't shoo them out of the garage. Heck, I even donated an old comforter to the cause because they were, all 9 of them, trying to sit on one little old rag that fell off the workbench. And have I mentioned that their combined IQ is in the negatives, because after that they still all tried to use the rag instead of the comforter!!??

Now if Rational Brain had of been able to over-ride Soft Heart, the conclusion would have been made that we have already built them a $1000.00 Quacker Box that they have decided to sleep under instead of in. We have since Typar-ed three sides of the underneath part and laid down a good layer of straw for them in what can really only be called swamp, and yet, that's where they prefer to reside. Rational Brain would have said that's plenty, let them deal with it ............Rational Brain would have said that the bottom of the Quacker Box with the windshield and the straw cannot possibly be any colder than a slab of concrete in the garage.

But OH Noooo............. Soft Heart won that argument, and an absolutely ridiculous amount of duck doo in the garage later..........I've come to the conclusion that Rational Brain needs a good talking to about becoming a little bit more assertive.

NOT NICE

So it’s Christmas Eve and we have my parents over for turkey dinner.

Meanwhile our 6 chickens, Lucy, Elvira, Joan and the three as yet un-named teenagers are still "free ranging" and the ducks, well, they are probably happily pooping in the pond. Both dogs and the cat are in the house hoping for fallout out of Christmas cookies on the carpet for later cleanup.

Somewhere between dessert and dishes, Bob the Builder goes out to lock up the chickens and finds that there are only 4 in the coop.

Not long afterwards, the neighbors drop by for drinks.

A couple more trips to lock up the chickens and there are still only 4.

After a few hours, the neighbours head home, and a little while later, so do my parents.

Still only 4 chickens in the coop, 9 ducks pooping in the pond, 2 dogs cleaning the carpet, one cat cleaning himself, and there may or may not be a partridge in my pear tree, but that’s way down in the field and I’m not going down to look. More worried about where these 2 chickens are.

Midnight, still only 4 chickens, We go to bed, but leave the hole to the coop open just in case.

Next morning, Christmas morning btw, and here comes one chicken, chicken jogging down the driveway, like the kid that stays out too late and is trying to sneak in before you notice. ...........so, did she go party with the neighbours last night ??

So five chickens accounted for, one that would be grounded if it was one of our kids, and one still missing.

Not long afterwards, Bob the Builder finds the answer to the missing chicken under a big grove of Spruce trees, closest thing we have to a Christmas tree this year, and very close to the house. Somewhat ironic that while we were enjoying turkey, something else was enjoying chicken for Christmas dinner. Poor little girl, she’d never even gotten a name yet and had just laid her first egg that morning.

I just don’t understand how this can happen with 9 slow moving, flightless, IQ challenged, can’t give them away on Kijiji, perpetually pooping, pieces of coyote bait right there out front. Not to mention 2 large dogs on the property………….oh, yeah, well, there was the Christmas cookie crumb distraction for them at work.

But I must be getting better at this as I didn’t cry this time or get all sick feeling about it.

Maybe that’s because this is the chicken that had me running around in the mud the other night till I cornered her in the garage to take her back to the safety of the coop and realized that she was not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Or, maybe I’m starting to realize that it’s not all fun and games out here.

Stompin Tom Chicken.

I so did not expect this,

I’m working in the garden one day, and Lucy, Joan and Elvira are on my heels "helping" and I take a sudden step sideways. Instead of doing the normal squawking scared chicken jog down the driveway as usual, Elvira hunkers down and starts stomping her feet. I thought it was kinda comical , apologized for scaring her and went about what it was I was doing. As the days go by, this stomping thing happens again and again, and now Lucy is doing it too.

So, keep in mind that I have, as yet, never been able to catch these chickens without a net, but this one time Elvira is hunkered down and stompin, right in front of me, so I figure what the heck, and I bend down and scoop her up. A few days later Lucy runs up to me and starts stompin, so I bend down and give her a petting and then a little scratch on the back, and she’s just lovin this…………..her wings go out, her tail goes up, her feathers all fluff up……………..it’s cute, and comical, and I go on about my business.

So just a few days after this, on Dec 5^th, we get 3 eggs. Amazing, right on cue, Internet says, 20 weeks till they lay an egg, they were born on July 5^th, all 3 of them lay an egg on Dec 5^th,

So by these calculations, we’re expecting the three as yet un-named teenagers to lay their first egg on Jan 17^th.

Long before Jan 17^th, one of the teenagers does the stompin thing to Bob the builder, and he mentions that he figures she’s getting ready to lay eggs, as in hindsight, we are starting to make the connection. Next morning, Holy Cow, 4 eggs, one teenager stompin in front of me and letting me touch her. By the end of the week, we are getting 5 eggs a day.

So we have one hen that is not laying yet, and with this years unseasonal weather, we have 6 hens that want to stay out and party all night. 5 of them let me pick them up and put them away, and one makes me run through the dark and muddy hills trying to catch her till I finally corner her in the garage and win the battle.

So just guessing here, but my money is on her being the one that is not laying an egg every day, because according to the Internet, she’s the only one that doesn’t think that

....................I’M THE ROOSTER !!??

　

　
　

　　

　

Soooo the wrong footwear

OK. so, tested and proved ( like there was ever any doubt )

CROCS are SO NOT the right footwear for winter, no matter how short the trip is supposed to be, cuz once you set out there in them……….it’s going to be an uncomfortable and much longer trip than you expected.

Never mind the obvious………. holes on top that scoop snow down into your toes, the same holes that scoop top soil into the same place all summer, but between them, and the "who decided to put the chicken coop down hill" factor……………yup, slide ride it was, missed the duck pond, landed safely at the bottom, sporting a muddy butt and snowy toes.

So this was supposed to be just a quick trip to let the chickens out, but now I’m at the bottom of the hill, wearing pretty much a pair of highly ventilated jelly beans on my feet and I still have to get back up……….apparently, among other things, to dig out my ever so fashionable (NOT) heavy duty grippy soled winter boots from summer storage.

So when I do get back up there, I start to wonder ……….why do I own these things.

I mean really, they are not at all attractive, the grippy soled snow boots put them to shame in that department. Summer or winter, something is falling through those holes to wedge or melt between your toes. They come in the most ridiculous colors, mine are purple……mauve if you want to get all fashionista about it…and if that’s the case, your whole fashion sense needs to be evaluated.............. by a therapist.

If you do wear them for a full weekend, they give you the silliest sandal tan…….a week of polka dot feet. The same holes that did that, I know what they are supposed to do, but they don’t, your feet still sweat like a pig………well not in the snow I guess, but freezing is just as uncomfortable, if not more.

So why do I own them???

Well they are pretty much go anywhere, don’t need to stop for a footwear change, into the river, out of the river, across the field, into the garden, go scoop manure,  indestructible, and if you do destruct them, who cares, kind of shoes. They also work well in the kitchen as a built in stress mat.

Other than that…….they suck, but I’m keeping then anyways.

A comedian once said about them "there are people all over the world wearing fanny packs that are laughing at you"

I think of that every time I put them on, and make damn sure I take them off before I leave the property.

　

　

This is Canada Eh!!

So today we got our first snow, and as usual I wasn’t ready. The summer furniture is still on the deck, 3 shrubs that will not survive the avalanches of the steel roof are still firmly in place right in the middle of the drop zone, the winter tires are still in a nice pile in the garage and I’ll be damned if I can find a snow brush for the car, so broom to the windshield it is……….again.

This is Canada, eh!

ya’d think I’da figured it out by now that it’s coming.

So I have no excuse at all and can only say….maybe next year I’ll get on top of this

…………ya right, and maybe next year I’ll get that Porsche too !!??

But guess who didn’t see it coming…………..my chickens.

The coop gates opened this morning just like every other day in their lives, and out they came…………and stopped dead in their tracks, wondering what in the world is this. ???

Back in high school we used to get Rotary exchange students from far away places that are not in line with snowfall of any sort, and when that first snow hit……………..it was a totally mesmerizing experience for them. Having lived in Canada all my life, I can’t imagine what it would be like to have never seen snow. But I do have to admit that it has got to be weird, and a few minutes of spellbound silence is probably in order, and well worth ( and much appreciated by the rest of us ) disrupting a totally boring English class for..

So I guess that’s what it was like for the chickens today. Now most of them seem to have figured out to just go hide somewhere, like maybe right back into the coop, but one, Little Lucy had her own way of dealing with this mess.

For well over an hour, she strutted, pecked and squawked on the living room window sill, doing a very good imitation of a carnival game and hoping to be let in. She’s probably seen the cat do this and it works, but sorry Lucy, until you can get trained to poop in a box in the basement…………….you can’t come in.

In the end, she pooped on the windowsill, and left…………… So who won here.???
<><> <><> <><>

Soooooo NOT impressed out here !!!

Me and My Tractor

Nut Date…………………………………………………………October 23, 2011

So, every country girl needs a tractor ………right??

OK, first off, before we go any further, MY tractor, well, it’s a lawn tractor, with a mowing deck, …. .’nuff said.

But, it’s shiny black, gets me where I need to go, and keeps me from having to hike the "hill from hell", aka … the buns of steel work-out, booty boot camp, holy heart attack, the stairs didn’t friggin help, etc.

My Tractor comes with nifty rabbit and turtle settings, has a "safety" butt weight shut-off feature ( that thankfully someone found a way around )

And best yet, it has a handy trailer attachment to carry everything I need.

It gets me where I want to go, unless of course, there’s a lump in the way that hooks up the mower deck, or a slight, non - gravel incline, that turns it into a spin factory, or God forbid, I need to back it up with the trailer attached.

Now backing up this trailer is beyond ridiculous. With such a short length, it doesn’t matter which way you turn, it goes left, unless of course you want it to go left, then it goes right, but most times, it just fully jack-knifes and it’s back side ends up right beside your knee cap. Which, at this point it’s not an issue, unless of course, you happen to be next to a tree. Better still, next to a tree on a hill.

At this point there are 2 choices.

1. play the "I need Help" card….or
2. I deal with it.

Either way………I’m screwed.

1. I get to watch someone do a 757 point turn and effortlessly get out of this situation with a trailer that now magically turns right on command.
2. I get to lay in the dirt and unhitch the trailer.

Now for all you men out there reading this thinking " why doesn’t she just lift the back end of the trailer and move it……………well, for the purposes of this example of said stupid trailer, we are assuming that I have already filled it beyond my lifting capacity, otherwise, I would for sure pick the damn thing up and throw it to wherever I thought it belonged at that given point in time.

So ya’ll are thinkin’ ………..go for #2, … right.!!??!!

Now let me explain to you this trailer hitch.

This is not the regular "put the cup on the ball, hope it’s the right size, if it isn’t, it’s interchangeable, no big deal, flip the lock, put in the pin, add 2 safety chains and away ya go" kinda hitch.

Ohhhhh Nooooo ,

This is the "who in their right friggin’ mind came up with this" kinda hitch.

First you have, somewhere, just inches south of the back axle, a piece of metal with a hole in it. The hole is, oh, just guessing, about ½ inch diameter. Unless you lay down in the dirt, gravel, manure or whatever the situation you’ve gotten yourself into, you cannot see this prize piece of metal because of a series of weights on the back of the trailer. Now I have never asked what these weights are for, I’m just assuming that they are necessary, because they are not at all attractive and seriously in the way of viewing the sought after hole. If I ever find out that they are just decorative, then somebody, maybe even me, needs to be smacked.

So, now that you can’t see the hole you’re aiming for on the tractor, you have the hitch on the trailer……….a U shaped metal thing, with the matching ½ inch holes, about 2 ½ inches apart.

And you have a pin, just a hair shy of ½’ diameter, with a tiny hole in the end of it.

The idea is to thread the pin through the three holes, from the bottom up and secure it with yet another smaller pin.

Now, apparently, this HAS to be done from the bottom up. Regardless of the fact that gravity being what it is, and that vision doesn’t even come into play here, and that the top of the U shape will naturally rest on the metal piece of the trailer end, and you could use your finger to line those 2 holes and drop the pin down, and chances are, it will find the third hole, thus leaving one hand free, maybe even 2,.. ( go stretch, pick the manure out of your ear, whatever.)

But no, this has to be done from the bottom up. So when you do get venus to align with mars, and get the big pin through all 3 holes, you now need one hand to hold it there. Now if you didn’t already have manure in your ear, you will now, because the only way to see that little wee hole in the end of the pin that is now way up there somewhere between the back axle and those pretty weights, is to put your head down there between those wheels.

And why can we not go from the top down???

Because, the last piece of this puzzle, the man size squiggly version of a bastardized safety pin that now has to go through that last little hole is

…."Too difficult to remove from the bottom".!!!

So now who’s with me on picking option #1???

………Thought so.

But don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about my tractor, that’s my choice, because the alternative is the 4 wheeler that tried to kill me.
　

time to go home....................just this tiny little hill to get up

me trying to back this thing up, you can see where I'm headed and just how well I'm doing with that......and it's now getting dark.

Done!!!....well, OK, maybe that's not exactly what I said when I decided to use this approach, but, hey, they don't put doors in both ends of these things for nothing you know.

As for the ducks..........

Nut Date…… Oct 18,2011

As for the ducks.....................well Holy Sh*t !!

.........pardon the language, but that’s all we are getting from them.

I guess that was part of the original plan, $3.00 duck, bug control and free manure, so far they are holding up their end of the manure part NO PROBLEM... as for the bug control, well they have just now found the field that holds the bugs that are eating hundreds of dollars worth of fruit trees, good timing, the bugs are sleeping for the winter, it’s Canada........... and all summer, rather than eating the slugs that attack my $13.00 Hostas, they ate the Hostas……..bug problem there solved, in their minds anyways.

So they stopped sleeping in the $1000.00 Quacker Box we built for them months ago, preferring the pond, spending the night floating about with their head tucked under one wing, looking really cute, but apparently filling it up with manure ALL NIGHT LONG. I’ve heard they have no sphincter at the south end, and I now don’t doubt that at all.

The reality is, that despite our best efforts at creating a nice calming eco – friendly, self sustaining pond, we now have to run hydro to pump it out. $$$$

So let’s just tally this up,

nine $3.00 ducks… $27.00,
bag of feed, $16.00 / month
Quacker Box with heat and lighting ( hydro ) $1000.00 +++
Pond pump, $30.00 ( I think, probably way more )
Pipes to access fresh spring water……….$ ??? another $30, let’s just say
Rental on mini excavator to dig hole for fresh spring water ( that was stuck in the mud for most of the rental, but did in the end dig the hole ) ..$50.00
Pond liner, sand, gravel, rocks, plants……salvaged, reclaimed or recycled from other jobs.

The whole system of sand filters, spring water and plant filtration, all for a duck pond, working wonderfully, till you make the fatal mistake of adding ducks………… freakin’ PRICELESS !!!


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Don't they all just look sooooo happy !!!
merrily pooping away

I’ve since learnt that this issue is called "Duckponics"

Whodathunkit??

Duckponics is actually a word. ??!! Well, probably not according to Webster’s ( yet ), but to anyone who owns a duck…………..it’s not just a word, it’s a reality that needs to be dealt with,
and to my relief, I’m not alone.

There is some comfort in numbers I guess.

Damn Hawk

Nut Date..........October 14, 2011

So I guess the plan was to write in here every day..............seems I didn't do that.

The reality is that I was busy taking pictures of these little goofs, and also that we had a rude awakening to the realities of life, which kind of put me off for a bit.

We learnt the hard way that just because little chickens love being outside, and we were anxious to start the whole "free range" thing, brutal truth of the matter,.......little chickens shouldn't be outside. Our two blonde chicks got taken by a hawk, vulture, whatever. We didn't see it happen but Rob heard it. Something got them from above, two at the same time. We found one, wet, so we did suspect our Little Miss Wannabe Mother, but then we figured out that there was no way she could catch 2 at the same time, and that she probably found the one before we did and was licking her. Good try on her part but it didn't help, the blonde ckicks were gone.

Consequently, all the other birds have, ever since, decided to not come out in the open too much..................unless of course there's a ripe tomatoe in my ( NOT YET FENCED ) garden, then they don't seem to care, and waddle off for lunch they go, to hell with the threat from above.

Which brings me to the real reality of the whole "let's get some ducks" idea..............

What were we thinking, how wrong could the internet info be...............
Lots wrong, that's how much.

Camera instead of keyboard

Apparently I took some time off from the keyboard and picked up the camera to keep track of these little guys...............here's a small photo log of their growth.

And as crazy as it seems to want to take pictures of your chickens.............. I'm not alone with that, and here's someone that is way better at it than me........I just can't get them to stay still long enough and fight off the dogs for attention to do any better than this.





see, we can all get along



stop wiggling...........



get down funky town



it's a big world out there when you're  this small



oh look............a bath!!



see now, if BatGirl would just stop lickin her lips like that, we'd let her go in



more dog patrol



you're still wigglin'



food, food,.....food............food, food



dog patrol on the newer bigger better bath



oh it really is a big world.............we'll have to mow this down!!!



Hosta.....I smell Hosta!!! food, food ......food........



sometimes being a teenager is not the best lookin time in your life



food, food......oh crap, we already ate all those hostas



Little Lucy.............tough decision, food or socialize



Citronella



and the boys are finally showing their colors



Day 3

Nut Date..............July 8, 2011

2 dogs, a cat, somewhere around 40 fish................and only one dog even just remotely cares about these birds. Which I guess is a good thing and she is still showing signs of just wanting to mother them...................but they are so small, and she is so big, so the wait is on.

Everything we have read on the internet, seems to be either labour intensive or not really what the birds want. They seem to do just fine, and totally enjoy being on plain straw. And we're thinking the poop might just fall through and then off to the composter. Chicks like duck starter feed way more than chick starter. Chicks and ducks seem to get along just fine, the chicks are actually more animated when they are with the ducks and they all cuddle up together for a sleep.
The temperature control thing has been an issue for us as we have had 10* swings in a day, depending on outside temp, garage door open or closed etc. ..................and yet they all seem healthy and happy. I'm feeling that they are much tougher than the literature reads. Tomorrow they move to the Chicken Hilton, on plain straw, and all together, but I am planning on segregating the chicks for a good part of the day with the medicated feed that we got talked into and don't really understand the need for.............and if they don't start eating it, it's for sale on Kijiji. Oh, and they all love cooked rice with yogurt, broccoli and chopped Romaine....................a mix of leftovers that I did for the dogs. Actually they like it more than the dogs, because it was strawberry yogurt. Of course Ol Fart will eat anything, but little Miss Mom aka Bat Girl, 100% mutt raised on pure meat...................well, she's being fussy about this mix........so at least the birds like it.

Day 2

Nut Date...................July 7,2011

The ducks had their first swim today, it was hilarious. Somewhere on the internet I found a site that said that paint trays work well for ducklings to start swimming. Mine graduated from the paint tray ( which I bought just for this ) in about 20 seconds. Oh, and we have an extra, not sure how we missed it till today, but we have 9 ducks....................so this one will be Citronella.
In the last 24 hours I have learned............
Ducks poop ALOT
Ducks drink ALOT ( 7 litres today................chickens, 250ml )
Ducks are hyperactive.
Ducks are shy, more so that chicks
Duck doo is VERY wet...............3 room service calls for bedding changes for them alone today.....................chickens, one since they got here.
You still can’t tell them apart.
Little Miss Mom has spent another 2 hours guarding dirty sheets and is now missing, so is the cat, who still needs to meet the new residents.

The package has arrived

Nut Date...............July . 6, 2011


The package has arrived. They are so cute, and I know full well that they won't stay that way. I've gotten them home and settled as much as possible after a full day in a 12" square box on a truck.

We have 13 birds in all, 5 chicks and 8 ducklings

the ducks are here for bug control and fertilizer, and there is, at this point, absolutely no way on earth to tell them apart.............
I know your thinking Huey, Dewey and Louis etc. but NO. It's

Raid
Off
Vapona
Muskol
Deet
Repel
Slugger
and
Guano

for the chicks we have 2 brunettes, 2 blondes and a redhead

so they are
Lucy as the redhead
Elvira and Joan ( as in Jett ) for the brunettes
and just to complete Bobs' fantasy of twin blonde chicks
Mitzi and Bambi as the blondes.

　

so 6 hours into it, I have learned.................
　

- ducks poop waaaaaay more than chickens.

- duck water dishes need water dishes under them, and then something to absorb the water............it’s a splash factory.

- they are friggin cute...........poopin like crazy, already chasing bugs and passed out for the night.

So 7 hours into it I have learnt

• they are not passed out for the night

The dog that is peeing, may actually be going through a " I need to be a mother " thing............she just spent 2 hours guarding a dirty sheet that I had out to dry.................but at least she's not peeing in the house anymore.......well for today anyways.

Tomorrow, I think the ducks need to have their first swim, I need to find out what little miss Mom is really thinking, new babies, or dinner. And then we need to introduce the cat to the whole scenario.