Me and My Tractor

Nut Date…………………………………………………………October 23, 2011

So, every country girl needs a tractor ………right??

OK, first off, before we go any further, MY tractor, well, it’s a lawn tractor, with a mowing deck, …. .’nuff said.

But, it’s shiny black, gets me where I need to go, and keeps me from having to hike the "hill from hell", aka … the buns of steel work-out, booty boot camp, holy heart attack, the stairs didn’t friggin help, etc.

My Tractor comes with nifty rabbit and turtle settings, has a "safety" butt weight shut-off feature ( that thankfully someone found a way around )

And best yet, it has a handy trailer attachment to carry everything I need.

It gets me where I want to go, unless of course, there’s a lump in the way that hooks up the mower deck, or a slight, non - gravel incline, that turns it into a spin factory, or God forbid, I need to back it up with the trailer attached.

Now backing up this trailer is beyond ridiculous. With such a short length, it doesn’t matter which way you turn, it goes left, unless of course you want it to go left, then it goes right, but most times, it just fully jack-knifes and it’s back side ends up right beside your knee cap. Which, at this point it’s not an issue, unless of course, you happen to be next to a tree. Better still, next to a tree on a hill.

At this point there are 2 choices.

1. play the "I need Help" card….or
2. I deal with it.

Either way………I’m screwed.

1. I get to watch someone do a 757 point turn and effortlessly get out of this situation with a trailer that now magically turns right on command.
2. I get to lay in the dirt and unhitch the trailer.

Now for all you men out there reading this thinking " why doesn’t she just lift the back end of the trailer and move it……………well, for the purposes of this example of said stupid trailer, we are assuming that I have already filled it beyond my lifting capacity, otherwise, I would for sure pick the damn thing up and throw it to wherever I thought it belonged at that given point in time.

So ya’ll are thinkin’ ………..go for #2, … right.!!??!!

Now let me explain to you this trailer hitch.

This is not the regular "put the cup on the ball, hope it’s the right size, if it isn’t, it’s interchangeable, no big deal, flip the lock, put in the pin, add 2 safety chains and away ya go" kinda hitch.

Ohhhhh Nooooo ,

This is the "who in their right friggin’ mind came up with this" kinda hitch.

First you have, somewhere, just inches south of the back axle, a piece of metal with a hole in it. The hole is, oh, just guessing, about ½ inch diameter. Unless you lay down in the dirt, gravel, manure or whatever the situation you’ve gotten yourself into, you cannot see this prize piece of metal because of a series of weights on the back of the trailer. Now I have never asked what these weights are for, I’m just assuming that they are necessary, because they are not at all attractive and seriously in the way of viewing the sought after hole. If I ever find out that they are just decorative, then somebody, maybe even me, needs to be smacked.

So, now that you can’t see the hole you’re aiming for on the tractor, you have the hitch on the trailer……….a U shaped metal thing, with the matching ½ inch holes, about 2 ½ inches apart.

And you have a pin, just a hair shy of ½’ diameter, with a tiny hole in the end of it.

The idea is to thread the pin through the three holes, from the bottom up and secure it with yet another smaller pin.

Now, apparently, this HAS to be done from the bottom up. Regardless of the fact that gravity being what it is, and that vision doesn’t even come into play here, and that the top of the U shape will naturally rest on the metal piece of the trailer end, and you could use your finger to line those 2 holes and drop the pin down, and chances are, it will find the third hole, thus leaving one hand free, maybe even 2,.. ( go stretch, pick the manure out of your ear, whatever.)

But no, this has to be done from the bottom up. So when you do get venus to align with mars, and get the big pin through all 3 holes, you now need one hand to hold it there. Now if you didn’t already have manure in your ear, you will now, because the only way to see that little wee hole in the end of the pin that is now way up there somewhere between the back axle and those pretty weights, is to put your head down there between those wheels.

And why can we not go from the top down???

Because, the last piece of this puzzle, the man size squiggly version of a bastardized safety pin that now has to go through that last little hole is

…."Too difficult to remove from the bottom".!!!

So now who’s with me on picking option #1???

………Thought so.

But don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about my tractor, that’s my choice, because the alternative is the 4 wheeler that tried to kill me.
　

time to go home....................just this tiny little hill to get up

me trying to back this thing up, you can see where I'm headed and just how well I'm doing with that......and it's now getting dark.

Done!!!....well, OK, maybe that's not exactly what I said when I decided to use this approach, but, hey, they don't put doors in both ends of these things for nothing you know.

As for the ducks..........

Nut Date…… Oct 18,2011

As for the ducks.....................well Holy Sh*t !!

.........pardon the language, but that’s all we are getting from them.

I guess that was part of the original plan, $3.00 duck, bug control and free manure, so far they are holding up their end of the manure part NO PROBLEM... as for the bug control, well they have just now found the field that holds the bugs that are eating hundreds of dollars worth of fruit trees, good timing, the bugs are sleeping for the winter, it’s Canada........... and all summer, rather than eating the slugs that attack my $13.00 Hostas, they ate the Hostas……..bug problem there solved, in their minds anyways.

So they stopped sleeping in the $1000.00 Quacker Box we built for them months ago, preferring the pond, spending the night floating about with their head tucked under one wing, looking really cute, but apparently filling it up with manure ALL NIGHT LONG. I’ve heard they have no sphincter at the south end, and I now don’t doubt that at all.

The reality is, that despite our best efforts at creating a nice calming eco – friendly, self sustaining pond, we now have to run hydro to pump it out. $$$$

So let’s just tally this up,

nine $3.00 ducks… $27.00,
bag of feed, $16.00 / month
Quacker Box with heat and lighting ( hydro ) $1000.00 +++
Pond pump, $30.00 ( I think, probably way more )
Pipes to access fresh spring water……….$ ??? another $30, let’s just say
Rental on mini excavator to dig hole for fresh spring water ( that was stuck in the mud for most of the rental, but did in the end dig the hole ) ..$50.00
Pond liner, sand, gravel, rocks, plants……salvaged, reclaimed or recycled from other jobs.

The whole system of sand filters, spring water and plant filtration, all for a duck pond, working wonderfully, till you make the fatal mistake of adding ducks………… freakin’ PRICELESS !!!


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Don't they all just look sooooo happy !!!
merrily pooping away

I’ve since learnt that this issue is called "Duckponics"

Whodathunkit??

Duckponics is actually a word. ??!! Well, probably not according to Webster’s ( yet ), but to anyone who owns a duck…………..it’s not just a word, it’s a reality that needs to be dealt with,
and to my relief, I’m not alone.

There is some comfort in numbers I guess.

Damn Hawk

Nut Date..........October 14, 2011

So I guess the plan was to write in here every day..............seems I didn't do that.

The reality is that I was busy taking pictures of these little goofs, and also that we had a rude awakening to the realities of life, which kind of put me off for a bit.

We learnt the hard way that just because little chickens love being outside, and we were anxious to start the whole "free range" thing, brutal truth of the matter,.......little chickens shouldn't be outside. Our two blonde chicks got taken by a hawk, vulture, whatever. We didn't see it happen but Rob heard it. Something got them from above, two at the same time. We found one, wet, so we did suspect our Little Miss Wannabe Mother, but then we figured out that there was no way she could catch 2 at the same time, and that she probably found the one before we did and was licking her. Good try on her part but it didn't help, the blonde ckicks were gone.

Consequently, all the other birds have, ever since, decided to not come out in the open too much..................unless of course there's a ripe tomatoe in my ( NOT YET FENCED ) garden, then they don't seem to care, and waddle off for lunch they go, to hell with the threat from above.

Which brings me to the real reality of the whole "let's get some ducks" idea..............

What were we thinking, how wrong could the internet info be...............
Lots wrong, that's how much.

Camera instead of keyboard

Apparently I took some time off from the keyboard and picked up the camera to keep track of these little guys...............here's a small photo log of their growth.

And as crazy as it seems to want to take pictures of your chickens.............. I'm not alone with that, and here's someone that is way better at it than me........I just can't get them to stay still long enough and fight off the dogs for attention to do any better than this.





see, we can all get along



stop wiggling...........



get down funky town



it's a big world out there when you're  this small



oh look............a bath!!



see now, if BatGirl would just stop lickin her lips like that, we'd let her go in



more dog patrol



you're still wigglin'



food, food,.....food............food, food



dog patrol on the newer bigger better bath



oh it really is a big world.............we'll have to mow this down!!!



Hosta.....I smell Hosta!!! food, food ......food........



sometimes being a teenager is not the best lookin time in your life



food, food......oh crap, we already ate all those hostas



Little Lucy.............tough decision, food or socialize



Citronella



and the boys are finally showing their colors



Day 3

Nut Date..............July 8, 2011

2 dogs, a cat, somewhere around 40 fish................and only one dog even just remotely cares about these birds. Which I guess is a good thing and she is still showing signs of just wanting to mother them...................but they are so small, and she is so big, so the wait is on.

Everything we have read on the internet, seems to be either labour intensive or not really what the birds want. They seem to do just fine, and totally enjoy being on plain straw. And we're thinking the poop might just fall through and then off to the composter. Chicks like duck starter feed way more than chick starter. Chicks and ducks seem to get along just fine, the chicks are actually more animated when they are with the ducks and they all cuddle up together for a sleep.
The temperature control thing has been an issue for us as we have had 10* swings in a day, depending on outside temp, garage door open or closed etc. ..................and yet they all seem healthy and happy. I'm feeling that they are much tougher than the literature reads. Tomorrow they move to the Chicken Hilton, on plain straw, and all together, but I am planning on segregating the chicks for a good part of the day with the medicated feed that we got talked into and don't really understand the need for.............and if they don't start eating it, it's for sale on Kijiji. Oh, and they all love cooked rice with yogurt, broccoli and chopped Romaine....................a mix of leftovers that I did for the dogs. Actually they like it more than the dogs, because it was strawberry yogurt. Of course Ol Fart will eat anything, but little Miss Mom aka Bat Girl, 100% mutt raised on pure meat...................well, she's being fussy about this mix........so at least the birds like it.

Day 2

Nut Date...................July 7,2011

The ducks had their first swim today, it was hilarious. Somewhere on the internet I found a site that said that paint trays work well for ducklings to start swimming. Mine graduated from the paint tray ( which I bought just for this ) in about 20 seconds. Oh, and we have an extra, not sure how we missed it till today, but we have 9 ducks....................so this one will be Citronella.
In the last 24 hours I have learned............
Ducks poop ALOT
Ducks drink ALOT ( 7 litres today................chickens, 250ml )
Ducks are hyperactive.
Ducks are shy, more so that chicks
Duck doo is VERY wet...............3 room service calls for bedding changes for them alone today.....................chickens, one since they got here.
You still can’t tell them apart.
Little Miss Mom has spent another 2 hours guarding dirty sheets and is now missing, so is the cat, who still needs to meet the new residents.

The package has arrived

Nut Date...............July . 6, 2011


The package has arrived. They are so cute, and I know full well that they won't stay that way. I've gotten them home and settled as much as possible after a full day in a 12" square box on a truck.

We have 13 birds in all, 5 chicks and 8 ducklings

the ducks are here for bug control and fertilizer, and there is, at this point, absolutely no way on earth to tell them apart.............
I know your thinking Huey, Dewey and Louis etc. but NO. It's

Raid
Off
Vapona
Muskol
Deet
Repel
Slugger
and
Guano

for the chicks we have 2 brunettes, 2 blondes and a redhead

so they are
Lucy as the redhead
Elvira and Joan ( as in Jett ) for the brunettes
and just to complete Bobs' fantasy of twin blonde chicks
Mitzi and Bambi as the blondes.

　

so 6 hours into it, I have learned.................
　

- ducks poop waaaaaay more than chickens.

- duck water dishes need water dishes under them, and then something to absorb the water............it’s a splash factory.

- they are friggin cute...........poopin like crazy, already chasing bugs and passed out for the night.

So 7 hours into it I have learnt

• they are not passed out for the night

The dog that is peeing, may actually be going through a " I need to be a mother " thing............she just spent 2 hours guarding a dirty sheet that I had out to dry.................but at least she's not peeing in the house anymore.......well for today anyways.

Tomorrow, I think the ducks need to have their first swim, I need to find out what little miss Mom is really thinking, new babies, or dinner. And then we need to introduce the cat to the whole scenario.